Planet Bullshit

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Taking time to reflect

I sign the lease on a new place tomorrow. This will be the first time I haven’t lived close to downtown Nashville since migrating here 2 1/2 years ago. This will be the first time I haven’t lived with or near any of the people who convinced me to move here. I’m actually happy about it.

Living in close proximity with the same people has made me resentful of them and their habits and what I’ve perceived as a lack of respect for me, my space and my belongings. I’ll be happy to let all of that go come tomorrow morning. I hope it will strengthen my friendships once again. 

This is going to be a huge change from the house I’m in now, let alone the apartment I started off in. I’m almost embarrassed to talk about my last few dwellings. I’ll finally be in a place that matches my personality, my desires and my needs for the first time in years. 

Thinking back to when I moved into the house I’m posting from, I thought I was truly happy then. To a degree, I suppose I was. I was happier then than I had been in some time, it’s true. Crazy how much your life can change in the span of months, I don’t even speak to two of the most important people in my life at that time anymore. I don’t miss them. I don’t regret anything. I still feel a lot of confusion when I think about them, but that’s it. It’s hard for me to not feel hurt by things they said and did. I’m surprisingly sensitive and a little too loyal at times. I lost another close friend a couple months ago over some similar bullshit. Life goes on. It’s all water under the bridge now, anyway.

Here’s to the next stage of my life. May it be more peaceful and rewarding than the last. I’ll be living with the one dude who I honestly believe “gets” me and what I want and how I operate. He’s helped me a lot, in a lot of ways, and I’m excited to have him around. I think we first talked about sharing a place 8 years ago. Here we are.

Do sane females exist? Or is the crazy just laying dormant, waiting for the perfect time to ruin everything positive?

Pissing me right the fuck off.

Jun 4

One more day of this horseshit and then I escape to Chicago with some of my best friends. I may leave town a murderer. May they arrest me dressed like a fucking prick, chomping on an $80 steak. Suck my rod, world.

Sincerely,

Bobby

2013 goal #2: see Meshuggah

Completed

Feb 8

2013 goals: #1: get a big raise

Status: Completed.

Feb 4

Not So Much Fall As Saunter Vaguely Downwards: from the Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor LaVey

devilsonthedancefloor:

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth


•Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
•Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
•When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
•If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him…

As frustrating as it is sometimes, being alone is almost certainly my destiny. I am insatiable, and I’ve yet to meet the person who can continuously stimulate my mind and body for more than a few weeks before I become complacent and long for the comfort of solitary confinement.

It’s for the better. For as much as I admire and appreciate females, I’m not so much a fan of their fickleness, for lack of a better word. I’m not quite a bull in a China shop, but it’s so hard for me to handle anything with kid gloves, feelings are bound to get hurt.

I don’t like your games, which I’m sure are unintentional but are nevertheless infuriating. Between incoherent, drunken rants and all of the subtle (and not so subtle) hints about your feelings for me, you’re never going to come on out with it and try to do anything about it. I can only give so much before I start feeling like I’m the only one giving while you just take my compliments, my attention, my alone time and my comfort for granted. Don’t fucking cry to me about boys and your loneliness and then leave my texts unanswered. Here’s a secret, and it applies to men around the world: to us, every other man in the world is an asshole when we are trying to earn your affection, so we don’t give a single fuck about what that other guy said to make you cry, we just want to make you realize that we are the one you want.

Keep crying. I’m almost done listening. I prefer results, fuck the process.

Getcha pull.

Getcha pull.

Nashville hardcore is alive and well. I love these people and I love their music.

empathynashville:

This is a new song that will be on our full length, I Had A Million Thoughts In My Head.  Feel free to jam this, repost it, and tell us what you think!

lyrics:

“Cut Out Your Tongue”

The fear you keep so close

Makes you feel safe inside

The distance you keep from us

Keeps you isolated

This place is home for everyone

We’re just strangers with the same beating pulse

but my tolerance for the intolerant 

has been shaken

Speak every filthy word

About things you’ll never understand

You can’t relate or appreciate

The fact that some pave their own way

Walked away from this beaten path

Because we won’t die young

I’m falling away before I beat myself

To death

Don’t you see?

You have no room 

No room for hate

No room for pointing fingers

No room for labels

No room for ignorance

So just simply cut out your tongue

Cut out your tongue 

Open up your mind

good mourning

I’m not talking about the Alkaline Trio record here (although that one is probably my favorite). I’m talking about literal good mourning. I’ve been going to a therapist for a few months now and this past week, she asked if maybe I hadn’t given myself enough time to grieve and recover from my most recent relationship. 

I probably haven’t. I’m not as patient as I’d like to be, even with myself. Perhaps I am a product of my surroundings (i.e: we can get almost anything we want within seconds for free with a few key strokes). We aren’t a patient society. But honestly, I just think I’m feeling my age and beginning to wonder if there’s really something wrong with me. I know I’m a good person, so what the fuck could possibly cause someone to suddenly fall out of love with me? It’s not like I haven’t been dumped before. I’ve just never been dumped for THAT reason. There’s always been something I could point to and say “yep, you fucked that one up.” But not this time. Then that part of me that doesn’t doubt a single thing I do steps in and reminds me that she’ll be the one missing out forever. And it sounds like an echo room in my head.

I just need to ease up. The bitterness is wearing me out. She can’t help how she feels, I guess. Someone had to get hurt. It stings a little more when the hurt is administered by the person you thought would take care of your heart and mind for the rest of your life. I can’t stay mad forever. I never hated her. I just don’t know how to look at her or hear about her without feeling betrayed. I’d like for that to change sooner than later.

All that being said, I’m now going to start mourning the loss of my wisdom teeth. I’ll be getting them cut out on Thursday. I’ve never had any kind of surgery, never been put to sleep, and I’ve never had a tooth pulled, let alone cut out of my face. I haven’t taken the time to research why they’re called wisdom teeth, but the corny jokester in me wants to say something about how I hope I’m not a fucking idiot after they’re taken out. I mean permanently. I know I’m gonna be a full blown ra-tard for a while after I wake up. I’m gonna stay high as fuuuuuuuuuuck all weekend. Shoo.

Jun 5

this trailer made me cry at the “we accept the love we think we deserve” part. cannot wait.

hypeischeap:

emma watson!
back on the big screen!
as an american!
omgerd!
fshajwefmsk!

May 4
Friday night ritual (Taken with Instagram at Get Fit Anytime)

Friday night ritual (Taken with Instagram at Get Fit Anytime)

May 2
Sometimes, I drive cars in the mall.  (Taken with Instagram at The Mall at Green Hills)

Sometimes, I drive cars in the mall. (Taken with Instagram at The Mall at Green Hills)

Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and dug a six inch valley into the middle of my skull (Taken with Instagram at Centennial Park)

Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull and dug a six inch valley into the middle of my skull (Taken with Instagram at Centennial Park)

This cat #catsofinstagram  (Taken with Instagram at Murdahouse)

This cat #catsofinstagram (Taken with Instagram at Murdahouse)